Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize