when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Randomize
