btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
