Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
