The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
