i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Farmville is her only friend.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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