38 yer olds are good kisserssss
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize