Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
