Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
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