just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
im calling her cock vulture from now on
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
