belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Randomize
