Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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