do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
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