I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
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