Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
someone owes me an orgasm
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
