It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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