my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Randomize
