I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
