yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
