i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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