he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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