What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
