WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
