I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
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