I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
zippers are such a cool invention
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
