your thong is hanging out like whoa
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
