is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
