At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Randomize
