I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
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