My nipple is on Facebook.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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