CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
