The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
