I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
