I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
