I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Randomize
