You work out of a Hotel?
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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