Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize
