he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Randomize
