so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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