Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
