please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
