Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
