Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
