I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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