is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
