Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
