he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
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