I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Can I color on your dick again?
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Randomize