Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
