I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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