I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
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