We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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