I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
