I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize