i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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