I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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