what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
