Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Randomize
