yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
