watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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