So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize