We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
the liver wants what the liver wants
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
